The Best Part of Making Coffee is Sharing It.
"Do you want to smell the coffee?"
I hear this question every morning from a particularly curious and precocious member of my household. She amazes me every day in her inquisitive nature, openness to experience, and how much she loves the aroma of coffee. She's turning 7 this week, yet it feels like no time has passed since adopting her. Lovingly, she refers to me as "Pops," which never fails to warm my heart. I'm speaking, of course, of my African Grey Parrot, Prudence.
I don't know about you, but the ritual of preparing coffee every morning never gets old, especially when there's someone to share it with who also graces the day with shouts of "Buongiorno!" and greets me with "Ciao, Bello" when I see her (yes, she also speaks some Italian).
MY INTRODUCTION TO COFFEE
While I've been making coffee professionally since 2008, it's been a part of my life in many ways since I was in elementary school. The very first memory I have of drinking coffee was it being shared by my stepfather at a Philadelphia Dunkin' Donuts. For those that know me (I've told this story many times), this is a cherished memory. At 6 years old I was enthralled with the TV commercials of those delicious donuts splashing their way through a black cup of coffee in slow motion. This was my first foray into coffee, and naturally I assumed it was a dipping sauce for donuts. One weekend we went into Dunkin for my first coffee and donut, and it lived up to everything I imagined. It’s a memory that looking back holds special significance, not only for my introduction to coffee but also the happiness in receiving an experience.
While Prudence can't actually drink the coffee, I still feel that experiential connection point of sharing with her as she excitedly savors the sensory wonders making our morning pour over, from the dry fragrance of the ground coffee to the aromatic addition of water (which she knows is "Very Hot" so you have to be careful). It's the same sense of fulfillment I feel working behind a bar, and it's meaning is so much deeper than the simple craft of making something you find wonderful. It's the sharing that truly transcends. When you can enliven another's day it can really be remarkable.
THE VARIABLE IS HUMANITY
Many baristas, both home and pro, get lost in the myriad of variables at our disposal to create an exceptional brew. We spend countless hours tinkering with our craft, engaging our mind and our senses in tandem, working to replicate the best attributes of a delicious brew, and using any wide number of tools at our disposal to get that perfect cup. As satisfying as this pursuit is on its own, there is something missing if you as the brewer are the only one to enjoy it. It's the act and art of sharing that represents the true joy.
I recently caught up with one of my former colleagues at Bar Nine, the wonderful Veronica Rouly. From her vantage point:
“Pursuing a career in hospitality has given me the gift of having the most beautiful experiences of human connection. I have had the privilege of being trusted by guests and regulars to go through their most joyful and even their most heartbreaking moments with them. I feel so grateful that I have been able to make strangers (a lot of them now friends) feel seen and to have felt so seen myself.”
Veronica in her element at Bar Nine circa 2019
THE SCIENCE OF GIVING
It's not just seasoned baristas that feel this draw to hospitality, this is all backed by science. The act of altruism brings the giver joy - sharing releases what is referred to as the "Happiness Trifecta," a blend of dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin. It's truly more powerful than receiving, and can be glorious when you catch that particular high. Beyond the feelings associated, it's actually good for our physical health and well-being, with studies pointing to increased lifespans for those that focus their energies on giving to others.
Will Guidara speaks about this exceptionally well in his fantastic book "Unreasonable Hospitality." Hospitality and giving with no expectation of return is in many ways a selfish joy. We as the sharer of experiences get the best part of the exchange, and the high from it is addictive in its own way.
SHARE THE LOVE
As we start a new day, pay attention to both the enjoyment derived from brewing a cup for another, and the joyful delight in their reception of it. Whether it's a loved one, a friend, a guest, or perhaps an inquisitive African Grey parrot, savor that moment of sharing.
In connecting both the ritual of brewing and the social connection in the delivery to someone you care about makes coffee a very unique and special part of our daily routines.
Who would you like to share coffee with next?
